Smokes and the Smoking Smokers who Smoke them.

There was a thing on the radio this morning.

Ok, let me rephrase, since I'm still waking up, slumped over my brimming cup of coffee at work. (I feel like a big, grumpy bear waking up from hibernation today.)

There was a story on NPR this morning as I drowsily steered my way to Merck. Interestingly, the story was about smoking and how the decline of young kids picking up the habit has slowed. That's right, that's a double negative. Young kids are smoking more now. And in 8th grade! That's so early.

The part that caught my attention, however, was a contribution from some young woman somewhere, from Youth Radio. She had asked some of her friends who smoked what they thought of the anti-smoking ads, and their responses were pretty much spot-on with mine.

Ads of clean cut teens who faithfully followed their parents' advice not to start smoking under peer pressure were basically a crock. One of the friends, Drew, I think? Yeah, I just looked it up. Drew Dickson, a one-year-old on the smoking scene, marvelously said, "There are commercials that I have seen, anti-smoking commercials that I have seen, that when they're done, I think, 'oh I could really go for a cigarette right now.'" (laughter)

That one actually made me laugh out loud, because, dude, Amen! They are so corny, it's so lame. And way to go Philip Morris with the reverse psychology, woo.

The other thing that got me to thinking is that a really popular reason for smoking is that it "chills you out" and "helps calm you down". The thing that I've noticed, though, is that it may be simpler than a cigarette to calm down. The act of merely taking several deep breaths, as you would while taking a drag, for example, over the 3-7 minutes it takes someone to smoke a cigarette actually can do a lot to clear the mind, calm nerves, and make things "better". I think this is also why I'm so addicted to yoga now, all concentrating on breathing, and whatnot.

I really have to say that the author, Sarah Smith, has another friend, a 17-year-old girl, who makes a good point. If you want to scare kids off: tell them the truth. It's really hard to quit. You can take it from me, too. I was calculating in the car this morning how long I've actually smoked, and it kind of varies with what you define as "smoking". I smoked a half of a cigarette at a party after a high school dance when I was 15 or 16. I smoked when I hanging out with people a little, here and there.

I quit while I ran track that Spring, and over that summer. But then, when I was a dishwasher at a local restaurant, I really picked it up, because that was the only way I could take a break from work. I was smoking a whole lot at 17, I guess, also because of the guy I was dating at the time. Then I quit for a year.

Then college hit, and by that first Finals week, I was so back in the habit, worse than ever. I stopped for a few months at a time for a year after that. The guy I was dating then hated smokers, so I really cut back for the first 2 years we went out. Then that last year, everything was changing and stressful, and I was working multiple jobs, so smoking came back with a vengeance.

When I first moved to Philly, I didn't smoke really. Now it's every day. Even sometimes on the way to work, which I hate, because it's gross in the morning. On the way home I have two: one from mile marker 335-339 and one from 342-346. Those spots are when traffic breaks up, usually. From 339-342 it's like a parking lot on 76.

I hate how smoking creeps up on me. I hate how it changes how I look, how I feel, how I act. I just finished a pack yesterday, and I haven't bought another. Maybe I just... won't. Or I should really invest in the patch and see how that works. But whatever happens, I can't breathe well anymore, and according to someone I have "The Apnea" when I sleep, and I think that might well be true. I wake up several times during the night, partially due to weight gain and partially, I guess, to the fact that my lungs are beat up. I've smoked for 7 years, give or take. That's quite long enough, thank you.


Update: I'll keep updating my progress, maybe, just to make me feel like I need to be accountable for it. Feel free to scold me when you want. It helps.